Guest Post: Andi Cumbo-Floyd - The Teeter-Totter of Discipline and Grace
Dear Beautiful
People,
For the first time in several months, I achieved
my goal of writing 1,000 words a day on my work-in-progress this week.
Most mornings, I didn't want to do it. I had other things to do - things
that pay me money and aren't as hard - but I did it. Each time, it took
me less than 30 minutes - I draft very quickly because I've practiced for
years, but my revision process is quite slow - and when I was done, I felt
great because I wasn't going to be carrying the burden of disappointment and
guilt I feel when I don't write.
For me, writing is a calling, a vocation, my
life's work, if you can bear that level of grandioseness and not think it some
sort of April Fool's Day joke.( I assure you, I'm serious.) So when I'm not
using it, I feel a bit like that servant from the parable who buries the money
in the dirt. I don't like that feeling.
Over many years of practice, after reading many
books on writing, through listening to many friends who are further down the
path of words than I am, I have learned that a real key to writing is
discipline, a regimented putting-of-the-butt-in-the-chair. I don't
believe in inspiration. I believe in hard work, in showing up, in
facing the page as often as possible to get the writing done.
But I also believe in grace. I believe that
it's far more detrimental to my mental health if I walk around on the days I
don't write feeling shameful about what I haven't done. I know that shame
is too heavy a weight to bear when I need lightness to create. I am
certain that no good - and almost no writing - comes from feeling weighed down
by what didn't happen.
So here's how I keep the teeter-tooter of
discipline and grace for myself. (By the way, I am coming to think of balance
as shifty, not something you pin down forever like a beautiful butterfly, but
something we dance through during the various days and periods of our life.
Hence, the teeter-totter metaphor.)
·
I have a regular goal for writing. For
me, that's 1,000 words a day five days a week. That goal is achievable
for me on a daily basis.
·
I have a regular writing time for each of
those five days. Right now, that time is 6am because I can
wake at 5, do a little reading, write, check email, and then feed
the farm animals. That time will shift as the sunrise moves
earlier this summer.
·
I give myself time off. I
don't write on weekends. That's my farm time, my time with Philip, my time to
binge-watch Firefly. My time with family and friends. If
I'm making space for things I love sometimes, I don't tend to skimp on writing,
which I don't always love, the other times.
·
I look ahead to how I will make this time
given what's happening in the rest of my life. If I know I'm
traveling - as I as this week - I evaluate whether or not I'll still be able to
write that 1,000 words. If I don't see it as possible, I scratch that day off
my calendar. But just that day. By looking ahead at what might make my
goals hard to achieve, I give myself the space to not hit the goal that day
without derailing myself with guilt for many days.
·
When I miss a writing day unexpectedly, I look
at why that happened as soon and as honestly as possible. Sometimes,
I just don't get it done, and so when that happens, I take stock right away.
Did an emergency arise? Was I sick? Or did I make choices that got in the way?
If this was about choice, why did I make that choice? Am I okay with that
choice? And if not, what will I do to make better choices to allow for my
writing next time? I find that 90% of my missed writing days were my
choice, and most of those choices I would like to not make again. So I adjust
my schedule or my practices - like this week, I committed to not looking online
until my 1,000 words were done. It worked well for me.
For you right now, 5 days a week may not be
possible; 1,000 words may be too little or too much. Mornings may not
work. You have to find what works for you.
I believe you have to make a goal
and set a schedule that work for you, and then do all you can to keep to
it. And I believe this is possible for everyone most of the time. You
may be tempted to say that because you work a lot of hours you can't set a goal
or schedule, or because you have young children you can't keep a schedule, or
because you have a chronic illness you can't make a goal or keep a schedule, or
because your second toe is longer than your big toe schedules don't work for
you. I get it. Life is hard for all of us a lot of the time and in a lot
of ways.
Here's the thing though - people have written
books while raising young children. People have written books while working to
make partner at a law firm and working 18-hour days. People have written
books while battling cancer for their lives. The way they do that may not
be as fast as I do in my childfree, write-for-a-living daily life (which has
it's own griefs and challenges, I assure you), but they do it. And they
do it by committing, by practicing, by prioritizing, and by giving themselves
the grace to say, "Today was not the day, but I'll try again
tomorrow."
So here's my NO FOOLIN' challenge for you.
·
Make a weekly writing goal.
·
Set a weekly schedule for achieving that
goal.
·
Celebrate when you meet your schedule.
·
Evaluate when you don't and let the
"didn't" go.
·
Try again the next day.
What do you say? Are you in?
Much love,
Andi
Excerpted from Love Letters To Writers: Encouragement,
Accountability, and Truth-Telling by Andi Cumbo-Floyd – Forthcoming on
November 14, 2017.
Andi Cumbo-Floyd is a writer, editor, and farmer, who lives at the edge of the Blue Ridge Mountains with her husband, 4 dogs, 4 cats, 6 goats, 3 rabbits, and 37 chickens. You can read more of her words on writing at andilit.com.
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