Tuesday, December 08, 2009
The Legend of the Christmas Moose
The other day, someone stopped me and commented on the stuffed moose in a co-workers cubicle. The co-worker asked what a moose had to do with Christmas. I replied, "Oh, that is the Christmas Moose." I quickly realized my co-worker had never heard the legend of the Christmas Moose. As the days have progressed, it has become obivious to me that a lot of people are unfamiliar with one of the most vital parts of the story of Santa and the reindeer. So, here is the legend of the Christmas Moose.
Several years ago, Santa had a run of misfortune. He experienced a bad landing almost turning over the sleigh and then someone took several shots at the reindeer as they were preparing to land at another house.
Once Santa and his team of reindeer returned to the North Pole, a townhall meeting was held to evaluate options and ensure the safety of Santa and the reindeer. Ideas and brainstorming ensued with suggestions ranging from satellite defense systems, arming the sleigh with sidewinder missles and a .50 caliber machine gun to cancelling Santa's historic trip.
Santa and his council of wise elves carefully evaluated all of the recommendations. The satellite defense system was ruled out as was arming the sleigh. But the option that Santa and the council carefully considered for a considerable amount of time was cancelling any further travel. The impact of stopping Santa's annual trip was not taken lightly by anyone as it would mean that children around the world would not receive their Christmas gifts that they had come accustom.
But Santa's safety and the safety of his one dozen flight crewmembers was not taken lightly either. After days of meetings, lots of fruit trays, doughnuts, cookies, and hot chocolate, it seemed that Santa was going to have to cancel his annual flight around the world.
Just as it seemed that the unthinkable was going to be decided, a moose stood up near the back of the great meeting hall and raised his hoof. The moose, named Monte, explained that he had been laid-off from his job as a personal security guard for a famous recording artist that no longer had any income after recording a single hit in the 1980s.
Monte the Moose offered the Santa and the council of elves a new solution. If the great council would approve, Monte would fly Santa's intended course a day early and check out the scene on all of the scheduled landings. Monte would select the best landing zones and determine what areas were not safe for landing.
In war ravaged areas, Monte would locate a DMZ or demilitarized zone where there were no threats posed to Santa and his team. Houses that did not contain children but were used for illegal drugs or other criminal activity would be noted as a NLZ or No Landing Zone.
Santa and the council of wise elves carefully considered the proposal and reviewed Monte's resume. It was noted by the elves that during Monte's service to the once popular recording artist that no harm had befell the artist, and Monte's record was without blemish.
After much deliberation and the consumption of more fruit trays, Santa and the council of wise elves voted unanimously to take Monte the Moose up on his offer and renamed him, the Christmas Moose.
Since being employed by the SIA or Santa's Intelligence Agency, Monte aka the Christmas Moose now flies around the world on December 23rd carefully locating safe landing zones for Santa and his team and prepares a list of locations that are NLZs or No Landing Zones that Santa avoids druing his annual gift delivery.
So whenever you stop yourself and ask, "I wonder why I have never seen Santa's sleigh on the roof of a crack house." You can thank the Christmas Moose.
(c)2009 - Allen Madding